Posts Tagged ‘my husband wants a divorce’

My Husband Wants a Break! Why This May Save Your Marriage

Possibly the worst thing any woman can hear her husband say is that he wants a break from the marriage. Regardless of how a man tries to spin this news, it boils down to the very same thing. He isn’t happy within the relationship and he wants time, distance and space away from his wife. The moment your husband shares this news with you, you’re going to start wondering whether you should seek out the counsel of a divorce attorney. It’s understandable why you’d immediately jump to the conclusion that a divorce is on your inevitable horizon. Your marriage doesn’t have to become another negative statistic. If your husband does indeed express his desire for a break, be careful with how you respond to him. You may just be able to use this to your advantage as a helpful tool to rebuild your crumbling marriage.

State Exactly How You Feel as Clearly as You Can

Obviously if you love your husband deeply you’re not going to want to take any type of break within your marriage. You must explain this to your husband in a very direct and understandable way. When a woman becomes overly emotional it’s very common for her spouse to pull back. Men, in general, don’t want to deal with a woman who is crying, upset or angry. That’s why it’s essential that when you respond to your husband’s declaration that he wants a break, that you do it while you feel somewhat calm.

State that you don’t want the marriage to end and that you will take whatever steps are necessary to ensure that doesn’t happen. Be prepared for him to react negatively to this. That’s completely expected and understandable however for the future of your marriage it is important that you make your position clearly understood.

Respect Your Husband’s Feelings

Telling your husband that he can’t have a break won’t end well. What will likely occur is that he’ll feel even more alienated from you and he’ll take his leave immediately. Not respecting what he’s feeling can even result in him filing for divorce right away. That’s obviously not something that you want to have happen.

You must show him that you respect that he’s not feeling happy or fulfilled within the marriage anymore. Listen to him attentively when he shares with you why he’s feeling what he feels. Don’t discount those feelings by telling him that it’s just a phase he’s going through or the difficult things he is feeling will pass. He wouldn’t want a break if he felt that this was all solvable with the marriage the way it is.

Consider How a Break May Benefit You Both

The idea of a separation can be terrifying to any woman who is deeply devoted to her husband and their relationship. It’s very important that you don’t completely close your mind and heart to the idea that taking a break can actually revitalize a crumbling marriage.

If your husband is continually insistent on the idea that he wants and needs a break, you may want to agree to it on your own terms. Those terms should include going to marriage counseling together, talking daily and putting in a true and determined effort to save the marriage.

If you simply tell your husband he can take a break and then you two don’t communicate or work towards resolving the issues that have pulled you apart, you can expect the marriage to eventually fail. You must both be committed to using the break as a springboard towards more mutual understanding.

Use the time apart to think about what you want in your marriage and what part you can play in making that happen. Don’t rely solely on your husband to get his emotions together or to work out his own issues. A marriage is in every sense a partnership so you must work hand-in-hand towards rebuilding it. That applies whether you’re working through your problems under the same roof or whether he’s taken a break and is living separately.

If a break seems inevitable try and view it from a positive place and use the time and experience as a springboard towards an even better marriage than you two had before.

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How to Change His Mind if He Wants a Divorce

Your husband doesn’t want to be married anymore. He’s come to you and told you as much. His reasons may run the gamut from feeling unfulfilled to wanting to experience more before he gets too old. Regardless, you’re now left trying to figure out what your next move should be. You may be wondering if it’s possible to change his mind if he wants a divorce. It absolutely is. If you’re not ready to throw in the towel on your marriage just yet, don’t. Gain some insight into what you can do and then set out to change your marriage forever.

It’s going to feel as though there’s nothing you can do to change his mind if he wants a divorce, but there is. First, explain to him that you firmly believe that a trial separation is a much better choice at the moment. Rushing into a full-fledged divorce is a hasty decision. It took time for the two of you to build your marriage so it stands to reason that it will take time to separate from one another. That’s why suggesting to him that he takes some time away from you in the form of a legal separation is helpful. It will afford you an opportunity to continue to work on rebuilding the relationship while at the same time giving him the space he needs.

You have to be strong throughout this. It’s not easy and there are going to be moments when you feel as though you can’t hold it together a moment longer but you need to. When a marriage is crumbling and the woman can’t keep her emotions in check, her husband will continually pull back more and more. He may even see the fact that she’s emotionally unstable as validation for leaving the marriage. If you can appear to be calm and confident during this time, your husband will see the strong woman that he married again.

One thing that often revitalizes a marriage that is on the brink of divorce is that time apart and how the partners make use of it. Your husband married a dynamic, vibrant and exciting woman. You may have lost some of that during the course of the marriage as your life priorities shifted. Try to rediscover those things now. Get out and start focusing on yourself. If your husband notices that you’re starting to make some positive changes, his interest will definitely be peaked again.

Continue to talk to him as you two move through your time during the separation. It may be easier for you two to share what you’re feeling if you’re not under the same roof. Time away from your partner can often bring a great deal of clarity to the relationship.

Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you.

You can make your husband fall even deeper in love with you than when you two first married by clicking here.

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