“Everything I do annoys my boyfriend.” That statement normally wouldn’t make you bat an eyelash, save for the fact that it’s you saying it, right? It’s horrible, isn’t it? You’re crazy about a man who seems intent on criticizing everything about you. You feel like you’re walking on egg shells at every turn and it certainly never feels as though you’re doing anything even remotely right. Is it really a satisfying relationship if that’s what you have to face on a daily basis? Don’t you wish you could understand why your boyfriend is always annoyed with you? You can understand and by doing so it can give you the knowledge you need to effectively deal with this difficult situation. Before your self esteem takes another step backwards, it’s time for you to learn why your boyfriend seems to be your biggest critic.
There are several main reasons why men suddenly go from attentive, caring partners to overly critical ones.
He just doesn’t care as much about you as he once did. Men will often start berating the woman they are involved with if some of the affection has disappeared. These men no longer feel a need to be compassionate and caring because they just don’t worry about whether you’re going to take it to heart or not. If you think back to when you and your guy first connected, he was likely complimentary about just about everything related to you. That’s because he truly did love you for who you were and accepted everything about you even those small things you may consider flaws. Remember when he used to tell you that he loved that you snorted when you laughed or he found the clothes strewn everywhere in your apartment charming? Now those small issues are becoming fodder for his overly critical nature because he doesn’t love you the way he once did.
His annoyance with you is a tool for his revenge. Most of us are great at holding a grudge. It’s a natural talent that we all have if we feel we’ve been wronged. If you and your boyfriend had a drag out, no-holds barred argument and he feels that you got the upper hand, he may be resenting you. That resentment can manifest itself in many ways including coming out as annoyance. If all of this negative behavior on his part began after you two faced a major conflict that may be the culprit.
His own self esteem needs a boost. A lack of self esteem can make people do crazy things. It can cause people to act out by dressing provocatively in an effort to get attention. Some people become loud and obnoxious just because they crave to be the center of attention. Berating others is another coping tool that some individuals use to boost up their own self esteem. They may not even realize they are doing it which could be the case with your boyfriend. This sometimes happens if a couple is a bit mismatched. For instance, if the woman is drop dead gorgeous and her boyfriend is lacking in looks, he may take to demeaning her to make himself feel more attractive. It happens as well if the woman is more intellectually gifted or has a more vibrant personality. If his ego is lacking and your presence makes him feel even smaller, he may subconsciously feel the need to cut you down just to feel accepting of who he is.
He truly is bothered by some of the things you choose to do. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone in this big, wide world who would define the word “perfect.” Perfection is an illusion and fortunately none of us are so short sighted that we can’t see and embrace our flaws. If you are doing things that you know get under your boyfriend’s skin, he may be somewhat justified in getting annoyed with you. Take for instance if you tend to play your music loudly when you’re working out while he’s simply trying to work. Or maybe you’re notoriously bad at remembering to put things away where they belong. If your boyfriend has pet peeves and you don’t respect them, he may feel justified in getting upset with you. Consider whether you’re pushing him in a negative way before he sounds off at you.
Regardless of why your boyfriend is annoyed with you frequently, don’t allow it to rule the relationship. Also, don’t permit his insults or opinion to influence you in any negative way. Our partner’s view of us can define who we are and sadly, if their view isn’t a complimentary one, it can damage self esteem in very detrimental ways.
If you are always annoying your boyfriend, that’s reason for real concern in your relationship.
If you worry that you’ve made a mistake with your boyfriend, you need to address it now before it permanently damages your relationship with him.