Divorce is the one word that many women don’t want to hear. When you love your husband and you envision a lifetime of experiences with him, even the mere thought of the marriage ending can be devastating and overwhelming. Relationships often do change over the course of time though and what was once a loving, connected and very fulfilling marriage can often end up feeling empty. As women we tend to have insight into what our husband is feeling at any given moment. It’s unmistakable when there’s a shift in his feelings. You can sense when he transitions from being in love with you to just loving you. Obviously they’re very similar emotions but there’s a line drawn where romantic feelings once were. Getting your husband to love you again may feel incredibly daunting. If you want to save your marriage it’s important for you to do whatever it takes to make that happen.
Evaluate Your Role as a Wife and Life Partner
It’s very easy to fall into the emotional trap of finger pointing when you begin to realize that your husband isn’t in love with you anymore. Blaming him for his shifting feelings is the natural and easy route to take. It’s not always the most productive view to have though. You must bear in mind that just as your husband has changed in the years since you two first exchanged wedding vows, you have changed as well. You likely have a lot more responsibility to shoulder now and the interactions you once had with your husband may now be very different.
You must evaluate who you are as a wife and life partner to the man you married. Have you given everything you possibly could, in emotional terms, to the marriage? Have you been as supportive as possible when your husband has needed you over the years? It’s important that you answer these questions as truthfully as you can.
If you personally feel that you have failed in any way in your role as wife that may be a contributing factor in how your husband treats you. That’s not to say that you’re responsible for the shift in his feelings. You’re not. However, you both are responsible for the health and well being of your marriage. It’s wise for you to look at what you can do to improve the marriage from your standpoint. Doing that can help you recognize what you could be doing differently that might help the marriage get back to a mutually loving place.
Celebrate the Man Your Husband is Everyday
The happiest and most content husbands are those who feel their wife loves and accepts them unconditionally. These are the men who know that their wife is their number one supporter in life. Your husband has to feel that you embrace him for who he is if you want the marriage to thrive. It’s very hard not to fall into a pattern in which you criticize your husband for the small things he does that irritate or annoy you. This happens in almost every marriage and if it occurs long term it can definitely impact the connection the couple shares.
Instead of focusing on the small things that you find unappealing about your husband try to step back and look at who he is as a man and life partner. You married him for a reason and it’s time for you to remember what those reasons were and also to remind him of them.
It’s just as important to compliment your husband daily as it is to tell him how much you love and adore him. Express to him on a regular basis how grateful you are that you are his life partner and how happy you are that you two have chosen to share your lives together. You may feel that your husband will become bored of you always exclaiming his virtues, but he needs to know that you still value the connection you two share just as much as you did on your wedding day.
Make Time Just for the Two of You
A man will sometimes feel disconnected emotionally from his wife if they simply stop being a couple, in his eyes. This tends to happen after children arrive and life becomes focused solely on them. If your husband feels as though he’s slipped too far down your life’s priority list, he may begin pulling back from the marriage without even realizing he’s doing so.
You are the only one who can remedy this and it’s much easier than you may realize. It simply involves setting aside time for the two of you to reconnect. A very effective approach to take is to make plans one night a week, to begin with, that is devoted to the two of you going on a date.
Dating after marriage seems silly to some people but it’s a great way to keep the romance and adoration alive. If your husband has a favorite restaurant, make a reservation for the two of you and then surprise him by sending him a flirty text message asking him out. You can do the same at home if you arrange child care so the two of you have the house to yourself.
Keeping a marriage on the right track takes effort and attention. If you truly feel as though your husband doesn’t love you anymore, get busy rebuilding the connection you two once shared.