Your ex boyfriend wants to talk to you! You’ve been wishing for this day since the break up. He was and is the man of your dreams and when the relationship ended, your heart felt as though it left with him. You were devastated and depressed. Being without him was pure torture and it didn’t get much easier as time went by. Now, out of the blue, he tells you that he’d like to talk about things. You’re giddy with excitement and already planning your romantic reunion. Before you start picking out your future children’s names, you need to slow down. How you handle this conversation is actually going to be instrumental in getting him to come back.
If your ex boyfriend wants to talk to you don’t jump to the conclusion that it’s about getting back together. There are plenty of reasons for an ex wanting to talk. A few examples are he may want back some things he left at your place, he’s moving to another place or he just wants to tell you that he’s found someone else. You can typically tell if it’s any of the above by subtle clues in the conversations or correspondence you two have already shared. If he’s mentioned at all that he misses you or wishes things were different, than it’s reasonably safe to assume that he will want to discuss the possibility of getting back together with you.
You must let him take the lead in the conversation. Listen carefully to what he says and take time to process it before you react. If he says that he’s been doing a lot of thinking and he wants to try and be friends, don’t discount that. If you say that you were hoping for more, he’ll feel pressured and he may back off all over again. You have to give yourself time to absorb the conversation and you must not appear to be desperate. Doing that will really impact his attraction and desire to be with you.
The best thing you can do after you two do talk is to tell him that you need time to think. This shows him that you aren’t chomping at the bit to be his girlfriend again. That’s important as it suggests to him that you’re a little hesitant about things. That will make him work harder to get you to want to be with him again and that will ensure that your needs in the relationship will be more important to him. If you take things slow and appear to be relaxed and in control emotionally, you’ll actually make him want to try harder to win your love back.
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