Keeping a marriage together can be more than a bit challenging in today’s world. It seems that so many people are ready to throw in the towel when things begin to go astray between them and their spouse. Granted, it’s understandable why a woman may panic if she feels her husband is drifting away from her. Sometimes we recognize the shift in the dynamic of the marriage right away, but other times it’s much more subtle. If you feel that your husband is pulling away from you, you don’t have to admit defeat and wait for him to announce that he wants a divorce. You have the power within your hands and heart to change your marriage now before it’s too late. In fact, instead of just fixing the problem and jumping back into your marriage the way it was, you can get your husband to feel closer to you than he ever has before which will enrich the connection you two share so the relationship is better than ever.
Identify What is Causing Him to Pull Back
Talking to your husband about what you’re feeling is going to be the first step you need to take. Unfortunately, many men just don’t handle communication within their marriage effectively and instead of trying to work out the problems they face, they’d rather ignore them and wish them away. Many men feel this way because they are fearful that their wife will react in an overly emotional fashion. As women, we often can’t control the flow of tears when we’re faced with a dire situation. However, in this case you do have to try your level best to have a conversation with your husband about your marriage without becoming too upset.
Concentrate on the fact that you and your husband once had a very fulfilling, deep connection with one another. Bring that up at the beginning of the discussion and just express to him that you miss that. It’s important for you to acknowledge that you recognize that it takes two people to make a marriage truly successful. If your husband doesn’t feel as though you’re attacking him or blaming him solely for the marriage struggles, he’ll be much more open to talking about what is causing him to pull back.
If he still won’t open up to you, you need to put on your own detective hat and get to work identifying what could be the root cause of the strain in your marriage. Sometimes it’s an ongoing conflict that has never been resolved. It may be related to some extra stress he’s experiencing at work. Whatever it is, it’s important that you try and pinpoint what the problem is so you can then work on remedying it.
Reconnect with Your Husband as a Romantic Partner Again
When’s the last time you and your husband had any quality time alone together? This doesn’t include when you were sitting on the sidelines watching your child play soccer or baseball. It’s very important for all married couples to respect their connection aside from their respective roles as parents or professionals. If you and your husband repeatedly ignore each other’s presence or needs, one partner is bound to pull back at some point.
Although, as women, we all long for a husband who will be our own personal prince charming and sweep us off our feet, sometimes we just have to take the initiative to do that ourselves. Plan a romantic evening for just you and your husband with absolutely no interruptions. Make sure you have a sitter in place and if you can’t stretch the budget enough to go out to a restaurant, plan something at home including overnight childcare at a friend or relative’s home for your children.
Another fantastic way to revitalize the connection between you and your husband again is to suggest you two have breakfast together each day before the children rise. Or if you’re more of a night owl, you can always spend a few quiet moments together enjoying a cocktail or a coffee before bed. Use this time to catch up with one another and talk about what is going on in each others’ respective lives. You want and need your for your husband to feel as though you’re still his biggest supporter and ally in life.
Embrace the Man He is Now
As women we often long to recapture the early days of our relationship with our husbands. We want him to transform back into the man he was when we began dating. Just as he’s changed over the years, you have as well and now is the time to embrace the loyal, mature and dependable man that he is now instead of wasting precious time hoping he will return to someone he used to be.
See him through the eyes of a mother looking at the father of her children. Appreciate everything he brings to the relationship in that capacity. Focus on the fact that he’s always willing to go the extra mile to ensure your family is fed, clothed and has shelter over their heads.
A man may drift apart from his wife because he’s so busy trying to make the best life possible for his family. If this is happening in your marriage, it’s time for you to work with him instead of wishing he would revert back to someone he was before he shouldered so much life responsibility. Raising a loving, compassionate and kind family is one of the best ways for a couple to rediscover their love in one another.