Your ex boyfriend wants to be friends. That’s disappointing to you, isn’t it? That’s because you’ve been holding out hope that you two would recapture the romantic connection you once shared and get back on track with being boyfriend and girlfriend. Now, he’s gone and thrown a monkey wrench into the entire thing by saying that he’d love to be “your friend.” Your first reaction may be to tell him that’s not enough but before you do that, stop and think about it for a moment. Although he’s not offering you exactly what you want, he is trying to establish a new connection with you. It is worth it to pursue a friendship or should you just cut all ties and try to get over the man?
In life we tend to subscribe to the “all or nothing” approach. In romance that typically means that for someone like you, if you can’t get your boyfriend back as your boyfriend, you’re not sure you want him back at all. After all, the idea of him being with someone else is truly painful, isn’t it? It’s hard to imagine just hanging out with him as a platonic friend with the knowledge that he’s got an actual girlfriend waiting to spend time with him. You really can’t approach this situation from a glass half-full perspective though. You need to start viewing it as a gift that you can steadily work on growing until it really offers you exactly what you want.
In other words, if you embrace the idea of being friends with your ex boyfriend you’ll be showing him that you care about him regardless of whether you two are a couple or not. That speaks volumes about your maturity level and also how unselfish you are. Your boyfriend will be impressed that you so willingly welcome the idea of being a friend to him.
You must follow this up by showing him exactly how great a friend you can be. That means being supportive without crowding him. He likely knows that you still have strong feelings for him but don’t allow those feelings to motivate your actions. You must present yourself as a neutral friend who only wants the best for him. That means tempering the things you say and do when you’re around him. For instance, don’t repeatedly ask about his current dating status. If he wants you to know what’s going on in that department, he’ll certainly share. Also, avoid talking about your failed relationship. He’s well aware that things between the two of you didn’t work in the past so there’s absolutely no need to bring that to his attention again.
If you can be there for him through thick and thin, over time he’s going to start seeing you as an essential part of his life. You need to be the person who picks up the pieces when he feels things are overwhelming. If you can be there for him, he’ll soon realize that you’re the most important friend he has and that will open his heart back up to a relationship where you two are much more than just friends again.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can impact your future with the man you love.
If you still need and want him don’t leave your future with him to chance, there are ways to win him back.