Why is it that it’s almost always hard to let go after a break up? It doesn’t matter if you and your guy fought like cats and dogs. When the day comes for you to separate you feel as though part of your heart is walking away with him. It’s confusing and for a woman who is still reeling from the end of her relationship, the inner conflict can become overwhelming. Your mind is telling your brain that there was a good reason the two of you broke up so it’s time to move on. Your heart has its own opinion and craves to be with him again. Is it worth trying to get him back becomes the obvious question. If you’re struggling to answer that you really just need to look at a few key points. Once you can effectively evaluate the relationship and what you need in terms of your own future, you can then decide whether pursuing your ex is really a good idea after all.
In your effort to decide whether or not it’s worth it to try and get him back you have to identify in a very honest way what caused the relationship to unravel. It’s very easy for us to look back on something like that and only see the things we want to see. If you and your ex fought constantly, what’s to say that things would be any different in the future? Perhaps you’re simply incompatible and if that’s the case admitting that and accepting that will help you move towards a more suitable relationship with another man in the future. You also have to be wary of trying to get him back if he cheated on you and you broke things off for that reason. Even if he’s professing his fidelity to you now there still should be a red flag flying over the relationship for you. If he found the need to wander outside the confines of your relationship now, there’s a chance he’ll do it again.
Sometimes a couple will part ways because they outgrew each other. This typically happens when one person feels the need to spread their wings and experience everything else the dating world has to offer. After spending time with others, they come to the realization that they’ve made a mistake and really do belong with their former partner. If you’re the person filling the spot on either side of that equation, then it’s definitely worth considering getting back with your ex. If you ended things you need to seriously think about where his life is at this point and whether he may be open to the idea of you two giving your relationship another try. If he’s already happily moved on, take that as a sign from the universe that you need to learn by your ex boyfriend’s example and look for a new partner.
The best scale to use to determine whether you should attempt to reconcile with your ex is to look at how balanced the relationship really was. If you felt that you were giving much more to him than he was giving to you, don’t allow yourself to believe that things will be any different now. If you two didn’t share the level of emotional connection that you were seeking, chances are it won’t be waiting for you when you get back with him.
Before you invest too much emotional energy in the idea of trying to win him back, think about how far you’ve come since the break up. If you feel lost without him, talk to him about what you two could do to ensure things would be different this time. If you feel lost because you wish you had a partner, then it may be time to start dating others. Don’t fool yourself into believing it’s your ex that you want back if you really just want someone to share your heart with.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can impact your future with the man you love.
If you still need and want him don’t leave your future with him to chance, there are ways to win him back.