Why Am I Still Thinking About Him? Understanding Emotions After a Break Up

Relationships have a way of taking over our lives. When things are good we base most of our happiness on the fact that we are fortunate enough to be involved with a wonderful man we absolutely adore. When things get bad, everything else in our lives suffer because we feel disconnected from the person who helps ground us and makes us feel whole and complete. When a relationship gets to the point where a break up is the next step, it’s devastating regardless if you’re on board for the split or you’re against it. Everything you knew in your life feels very different suddenly. You no longer have your boyfriend to turn to and you can’t lean on him anymore. Many questions typically run through a woman’s mind during this time including, “what went wrong, will I ever feel happy again and why am I still thinking about him.” You need to know that it’s natural to wonder about many things after a break up. Understanding why you’re going through this is truly the best way to help you move forward.

Why am I still thinking about him?” That’s a question that many women ask after some time has passed since they separated from their boyfriend. Unfortunately, our minds and our hearts aren’t always as quick to forget things as we’d like. It’s not uncommon for a woman to start thinking about her ex weeks, month and even years after the relationship ends. If you two were very close, the man has made an imprint on your life and he’s going to be someone your mind will wander back to from time-to-time. It’s not something that you should have any deep concern about. It’s natural to think back to crucial times in our lives and obviously the important relationships we have will fall into that category. It should only become a real issue if you have trouble focusing on anything but your ex.

It’s also completely normal for your thoughts to generally be positive ones. Most breaks ups come with some degree of bitterness attached to them. Time has a way of smoothing over those rough edges to create an image of your ex that will make him seem almost irresistible now. It happens to many people after they go through the complicated emotions that accompany the end of their romantic relationship. As time passes, the anger, bitterness and heartbreak are replaced by warm thoughts of the good moments and the connection that was once there. If you’re not careful you can allow those positive thoughts to become so pressing that you simply overlook everything that created the friction that contributed to the relationship ending.

If you’d like to move on and forget your ex altogether, that’s possible. You need to start to actively change your train of thought each time he pops into your mind. That means that if you hear a song on the radio and it reminds you of your time with him, change the station or think about something you need to finish at work. If you often think about him when you’re alone, try to busy yourself more by spending more time with friends or work colleagues. Keeping an active mind is essential when you’re focused on leaving a relationship behind you.

Some women feel that they just can’t forget their ex and because of that they decide to pursue him all over again. You need to really think clearly about this before you leap off that emotional bridge. Remember that whatever pulled you two apart still exists and has yet to be resolved. Don’t jump into anything too quickly. Give yourself a chance to remember things the way they were, not the way you wished they were.  Your heart is vulnerable and it’s up to you to protect it.

Before you decide to get your ex boyfriend back, think long and hard about how things will be different this time and what you can actively do to ensure that happens.

If you’re intent on a future with the man, it’s important to understand the right approach to take so you don’t end up with a broken heart all over again.


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