“I pushed him away and now I regret it!” Oops. That’s a mistake that you’re finding it hard to live with, yes? It’s understandable. Love doesn’t pop into our lives very often and when it does we don’t want to be the one who pushes it away out of spite or because of a temporary conflict. Sadly, you’re not alone in your regret. Many women are experiencing just what you are. They let their better judgement slip away and in the process along with it the love of their lives. You wish more than anything you could change the past but you know that thinking about it too long will only prove to be a bitter source of frustration. The man is gone and you are the reason for that. Now is when you have to start facing that fact and acting in a way that shows that you acknowledge your mistake.
Trying to come up with a reason for why you pushed him away may be fruitless. Obviously whatever you were feeling about him back then isn’t the same as what you’re feeling today. If it was, regret wouldn’t be part of your emotional landscape. Your feelings have changed and it’s very important that you identify the source for the change. You may be surprised to learn that what you’re feeling may not be regret at all but may actually be a by-product of loneliness. You may feel that you want him back solely because you just don’t want to be alone. It’s hard to face that in ourselves, but you need to ensure that’s not what you’re feeling before you do something as drastic as calling your ex and asking him to talk things over.
Think clearly for a moment about what your life is like now. Do you feel that something is missing in general or is it more about someone is missing? If you regret pushing him away because now you have to face endless nights alone, that’s less about your ex and much more about you. You shouldn’t feel drawn to a man again based solely on the fact that you miss having someone around. If that’s the case and you pursue a renewed relationship with him, you’ll soon find out that you’ll be pushing him away again.
If you firmly believe that you have deep regret that is based on the fact that you made a mistake with him, that’s a different story altogether. In life it’s certainly true that, at times, we don’t fully recognize the gifts certain people bring to our lives until it’s just too late. Once we’ve separated ourselves from them we begin to recognize how extraordinary they really are and how others don’t fully measure up.
If you feel that you did indeed overlook what a wonderful man your ex boyfriend was you’re faced with a crossroads. You need to determine whether pursuing him again is something you want. If he’s already moved on and is happy with someone else, you need to give careful thought to whether or not you want to even suggest to him that you still have feelings. It may complicate his life and yours in ways that you’re just not prepared for. However, if he’s still single, speaking to him about your regrets may be a good idea. Although it may not mean a second chance for you two it will allow you the opportunity to set the record straight so that he does understand that you see him in a much more positive light than your past actions have suggested.
Even though you pushed him away it’s natural to still feel a connection to him. There are things you can do to get him to forgive you and open himself up to you again. Learn how you can erase the mistakes you made with the man you adore.