When you recited your vows on your wedding day you really had no idea of the roller coaster ride that awaited you, did you? None of us do. We all seem to think that our marriage will be completely different than everyone else’s. We believe our charming, doting, loving husband will only grow to cherish us more and life will be like a honeymoon until do us part. That’s the fantasy. The reality is different. When you’re faced with dirty dishes, overdue bills and impatient children, life takes a turn down a completely different road. No longer are you and your husband seeing eye-to-eye on everything. The balance shifts and there’s bound to be tension. There are a number of common complaints that married women have including, “my husband stopped being romantic, he is selfish and my husband expects me to do everything.” Dealing with issues in a proactive way can not only solve the problem, but it can improve the marriage as well.
One great example of how resentment begins to grow in a marriage is when the wife is expected to do the brunt of the household and parenting chores. This typically happens during the time the woman is home from work, soon after she gives birth to her first child. In a man’s unappreciative eyes, his wife is home all day, so she’s obviously got loads of time to do laundry, wash floors and maybe even sneak in the painting of a room or two. Anyone who hasn’t taken care of an infant full time has no appreciation for how overwhelming it can be. Hearing your husband charge through the door at dinner time asking what you did all day is enough to send you running and screaming in his general direction tearing into him about dirty diapers, crying babies and no time for showers. You really must take into account that if your husband hasn’t been down in the trenches with you, that he has no idea what you’re balancing each and every day when he goes off to work.
If your husband expects you to do everything, you have to give him a taste of what you deal with on a daily basis. Pick a day and ask him to stay around to help you. If you have small children, this is a perfect time for him to bond with them. It’s best for you to make yourself scarce by either leaving for a few hours to run errands or soak your weary self in a well deserved bubble bath. If your husband must take on the role that you’ve been playing, he’s soon going to realize he’s a much unrehearsed understudy. It won’t take but ten minutes for him to understand that you’re a super hero. An exercise like this can really go a long way towards getting your husband to see that you can’t handle it all and that you do need his help.
Talk to him as well about what you need from him. Explain that although you wish you could handle everything and then some, it’s not only unfair to you, it’s unfair to the children. Parents should both take the reins when it comes to raising the kids and that includes not only minding them but tending to their ever growing needs. There’s also a lot to do to manage the household in general, and again since you’re in a partnership that extends to mowing lawns and doing minor repairs.
Work with your husband to find a better balance in your marriage. Hand him things to do and then remind him if it slips his mind. By showing him how much help you need in conjunction with explaining it to him, in an understanding and non-demanding way, you’ll soon start to see that he’ll want to help more. Keeping the peace is going to be the reason he starts helping more but satisfaction in helping his family will be what keeps him motivated.
Don’t spend another day wishing your marriage was different. If you want your husband to treat you differently, make it happen. You can have the deeply connected, fulfilling relationship you’ve always wanted.
Experience what it feels like to have a husband who will do anything and everything for you by clicking here.