We almost need a decoder ring when it comes to understanding what men mean by the words they share. It’s true. Think about it for a moment. How many times has the man in your life said something and you’ve rushed off to ask a friend what she thinks he means by that? Some of us have even gone so far as to allow our friends the pleasure (or maybe it’s the punishment for being our friend) of listening to our man’s voicemails or reading his emails. The fact is that your friends, unless they were a man in a distant past life and can channel that now, have no clue what his words mean. They may say something helpful like, “it’s clear that he can’t bear how much he loves you,” when in fact that’s not even in the ball park of what he was trying to convey. A perfect example is when your ex boyfriend says he cares for you. If you love him still you want his words to translate to he can’t live another day without you, but is that really what he’s trying to say?
Men say things for many different reasons, just as we do. We’ll sometimes tell a friend that she looks great in a dress when it’s obvious that it’s two sizes too small for her. The same is true with men and particularly men who have just ended a relationship. If your ex says he still cares for you, there’s probably some meaning hidden somewhere in those words. The word that becomes the focal point is “care.” “Care” to you may mean the opposite of what “care” means to him.
Actions! It’s all about actions when you’re on the hunt for what your ex boyfriend means. If you don’t see him at all, and you haven’t heard much out of him since the relationship ended, don’t put a lot of stock in his words. In this case he is more than likely telling you that he cares what happens to you or he cares that you’re happy. It’s not the same as caring about you in way that suggests that he longs for you and can’t wait to have you back.
You really need to take a step back from this and look at the situation as a whole. It’s natural for a couple to drift apart once the romantic aspect of their relationship has fallen apart. Although you may consider each other friends, you have to think about where his life is at the moment, as well as where your life is. If he’s dating and he’s suggesting that he cares for you, again it’s much more about being polite or courteous.
However, there is a bright spot to this and something to hold onto if you really do wish you two could get back together again. If your ex seeks you out or arranges to talk to you often, his words do take on an entirely different meaning. His involvement in your life suggests that he can’t let go of you. Perhaps he’s gone so far as to ask if you still care for him, or if you’re interested in anyone else. Questions like this combined with a declaration that he still thinks about you or cares for you, clearly shows that his heart hasn’t let you go yet.
Be realistic when you consider what’s going on with you and your ex. False hope won’t be good for either of you and it will hinder your progress with moving forward in your life. Use his actions as a pseudo decoder ring. They really will tell you whether you’re searching for more in his words than he intended.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can impact your future with the man you love.
If you still need and want him don’t leave your future with him to chance, there are ways to win him back.