It’s amazing, isn’t it? The difference between your boyfriend before the break up and now since he’s dumped you. You thought you knew him and loved him but now you really question everything you felt for the man. Since the relationship ended he’s been a world class jerk to you. He’s turned from a kind and compassionate partner to someone you barely recognize. As much as you struggle with accepting the end of your connection with him you still find yourself wondering what’s going on. Why do men act like jerks after a break up is a question women have been asking for years. The answer may actually stun you.
Just as your emotions are off the chart, your ex boyfriend’s are as well. This may be hard to believe given all the rude and obnoxious things he’s been saying lately. You have to look past those though to the heart of why he’s behaving the way he is. Men aren’t as naturally skilled at dealing with difficult emotions as women are. Instead of sitting down and talking through something negative they are feeling, they prefer to lash out. Their anxiety and the feeling of being emotionally vulnerable causes some men to attack the person who made them feel those difficult emotions. Hence the reason you’ve become the verbal target for your ex boyfriend’s anger and disappointment.
If you dumped him, he may not let up on his unappealing behavior for some time. He’s working through his emotions and until he does that, he’ll continue to wear the cap of a major jerk. The only thing you can do to remedy this is to separate yourself from him. By creating some distance you’ll be showing him that you don’t find his behavior towards you acceptable at all and you value yourself too much to allow it to continue.
It’s incredibly important that you don’t take his insults or ranting personally. That’s virtually impossible if you still have some lingering feelings for the man but it’s essential for your own self worth not to put too much weight in what he says. Remember that he is trying desperately to hurt you the same way he has been hurt, and he’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that happens.
It’s the very same reason why some men take up with a new woman right after the breakup of their long term relationship. Their reasoning behind this is twofold. A man who is hurting after his relationship ends wants to drown those feelings out and can do that by getting close to someone new. The other reason some men do this is simply to hurt their ex girlfriend. They tell her that they’ve met a new woman who is everything their ex girlfriend isn’t. They do this solely for the purpose of causing her heartache. That’s an obvious jerk move and if you see it for what it is, you’ll be able to accept it that much easier.
Remember his behavior is not a reflection of you or the time you two spent together. Try to view his disrespectful antics as a sign that he’s in deep emotional pain. If you do that you can still see the good in him and remember the wonderful moments you two shared before things went wrong.
Even if your ex boyfriend is acting like a jerk you may still have lingering feelings for him. Saying or doing the wrong thing can impact your future with the man you love.
If you still need and want him don’t leave your future with him to chance, there are ways to win him back.