Your marriage has changed significantly since the day you and your husband exchanged vows and promised to adore one another forever. It’s natural for a couple to go through a time of transition as they settle into married life. Career, mortgages and children take the focus away from one another and that’s to be expected. Some couples recognize the shifting dynamic of their relationship and they put in extra effort to spend time with each other so they can feel connected and close. Most couples don’t have the foresight to anticipate that ignoring this will lead to bigger problems. If you’ve now reached a point where your husband doesn’t have time for you anymore you need to make some major changes quickly. Not only will you feel resentful of his attitude towards you but his emotional distance will continue to undermine the connection you want to have with him as well as the future of your marriage.
If your husband doesn’t have time for you it’s important that you talk to him about it. You do need to be prepared to have this conversation and it’s also essential that you do it at a time when you’re feeling strong and balanced emotionally. Approaching him when you’re overwhelmed with feelings of anger won’t help the situation in the least. Your husband may not even fully realize that he hasn’t been spending as much time with you as he should. If you verbally attack him over it and he’s not fully aware that he’s been doing it, it may make him feel very defensive and this will cause him to shut down and refuse to talk with you.
Explain that you’ve been feeling somewhat neglected but at the same time tell him that you recognize that he’s balancing a full schedule. It’s crucial that you make it very clear to your spouse that you are forever appreciative of everything he does for you and for your family. He needs to feel valued for his contributions to the marriage and the family and not attacked for spending more time trying to earn a living or pursuing his career than he has focusing on the marriage.
Suggest ways that you can help him more effectively balance his time so that you two do have more time to spend together as a couple. Be sensitive when you do this. A good approach to take is to suggest that he bring some of his work home. This can be a positive first step as it will enable him to be physically near you while at the same time tending to the pressures he’s been balancing at his job. If you can help him with the work in any way, be it organizing charts or researching facts, offer to do so. He’ll be touched that you want to help him carry a slightly lighter load.
It’s also beneficial to suggest the idea of one evening a week just for the two of you without distraction. There’s absolutely no reason why you have to invest a great deal financially into something like this. Taking a few sandwiches and sodas for a picnic is a budget friendly date you two can share. You may also just want to spend a few hours alone in your bedroom watching a movie while a sitter tends to the children. It’s just vital that you strip away all the outside influences and find time to focus just on one another.
Once your husband starts to notice how much fuller his life is because he’s spending more time with you, he’ll work to ensure those moments become more and more frequent. Although you may have to take the lead at first to show him why spending more time together is helpful, he’ll soon take the initiative to make it happen himself.
Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married women find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their husbands. If you feel taken for granted, there’s a way to change that now.
To learn more about how to transform your marriage so your husband loves and adores you more than he ever has before, visit this helpful site.