Marriage is all about sharing your life with your husband. The reason you married the man was because you enjoyed his company so much, you loved him deeply and you envisioned a future filled with happiness and fulfillment. Now your husband has shifted the balance of that by pulling back. When your husband wants time alone it changes your world completely. No longer are you looking happily towards the rest of your life with him. Instead, you’re concerned about whether you two will even reach your next anniversary. If this sounds like your marriage at the moment, don’t give up. Just because your husband has said he needs some time by himself, don’t throw in the white towel of defeat on the two of you just yet.
There’s a reason your husband wants time alone and it’s up to you to determine what that is. Obviously you can talk to him about what is causing him to feel the need to disconnect from you. It’s vitally important to take a moment to reflect on the fact that men and women handle emotional situations very differently. Something as unrelated as work stress or an argument with a friend can cause a man to pull back from his wife. Men tend to internalize their feelings and that impacts all of their important relationships including their marriage.
Talk to your husband about the changes you’ve noticed in him. Try not to do this in an accusatory tone. Just mention that you’ve noticed that something seems to be bothering him and offer to help him. Make it clear that you want to be the shoulder he leans on and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make him feel closer to you again. Just reaching out to him in this fashion may be enough to help him understand how invested you are in the marriage and in helping him feel more balanced.
If he’s unwilling to talk about things, don’t be surprised or offended. Men will often keep their feelings to themselves and that’s in no way a reflection of how they view their partners. You just need to take a different approach to pull him closer to you again. Begin by showing him more often just how appreciative you are of his presence in your life. Take the time to thank him each day for the things he does for you whether that’s taking out the trash or working at a job he doesn’t really enjoy. If a man sees himself as strong and virile through the eyes of his wife, he’ll feel instantly closer to her and that time alone he wanted won’t seem nearly as tempting anymore.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you.
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