Every married woman knows that keeping the relationship together isn’t always easy. Being married can sometimes prove to be challenging and unless your husband is completely forthcoming with what he’s feeling you may not always know what to expect from him. For many women the first real clue that their husband isn’t happy in the marriage is he wants to take a break. If your husband asked for a separation it’s important to not panic. Granted, that’s near impossible. But if you want to save your marriage and rebuild the connection into something stronger than it’s ever been before, you have to view this situation from a place of reason and logic.
The fact that your husband asked for a separation is indicative of how he’s feeling within the marriage. Obviously he isn’t happy and his needs aren’t being met by you. He wants some time apart to think through what he’s feeling. It’s important to note that if your husband did indeed ask for a trial separation as opposed to a divorce, that’s telling. It suggests that he still is holding out hope that the relationship can be repaired. It’s important for you to recognize and take hope in that.
Trying to convince your husband to stay when he’s told you that he wants to separate isn’t wise. If you pull out all the emotional stops and try and persuade him to reconsider by using tears or threats, that will only result in more distance between the two of you. Keep in mind that many couples who do decide to separate get back together rather quickly and go on to enjoy committed, loving and strong marriages.
Letting him go for a time may be the key to keeping him. Explain to your husband that although you aren’t in favour of the separation, you understand his need for it. Suggest to him the idea of staying in close contact with one another in a way that is mutually respectful. That means you shouldn’t be calling him at all hours of the day and night to talk to you. Check in with one another several times a week and ensure that the lines of communication are always open.
If you can be somewhat supportive through this process you’ll be showing your husband that you love and respect him. He wants to share his life with a mature and loving partner so make him see that’s exactly who you are. By acknowledging his needs now you’ll be showing him that you only want what’s best for him. He’ll think about that during the separation as well as how much he misses you. Those moments apart may be just what you need to get him to realize what he’s about to lose and staying separated will be the very last thing he wants.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to appreciate and love you more. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you.
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