“I can’t get over my ex boyfriend,” said the woman feeling lost and confused. Break ups can be devastating. They can make you feel completely unhinged emotionally and it can almost seem as though you’re wandering around in your own thoughts of regret without any escape in sight. It doesn’t have to be that way. Even though you feel as though your life was put on hold the day you and your boyfriend broke up, there is hope for you. Perhaps you need to rethink what the relationship meant to you and your course in life. Maybe you’re not supposed to be trying to get over him but rather you should be focused on trying to get him back.
It’s natural and expected that there are some lingering feelings present after the relationship falls apart. That happens whether or not you feel relieved to be away from your ex boyfriend. It’s a loss and ultimately whenever we experience a loss there will be some sorrow that will accompany it. You can’t deny that. If a few weeks have passed since the break up and you’re still pining for your guy, you really do need to evaluate where your feelings are. If you still can’t fathom a life that doesn’t include him as your mate, it’s time to try and reconnect with him in an effort to win him back.
Before you can get a man back you have to decide what changes you’re willing to make. The hard reality is that you two broke up for a reason. The relationship, as it was, was a disaster. That means unless you’re willing to make some changes of your own, it won’t get any better the second time you two try. Be honest when you consider your own behavior during the relationship. Think about what you could have done differently to keep things on a more even and satisfying course. When you’re able to identify what you should be doing to improve your role as a partner to your ex, it’s time to start making those changes.
Reconnecting with your ex can be a bit tricky but it’s certainly far from impossible. You’ve got to start out slowly by reaching out to him. Do it in the context of a friendship and try and keep things light and easygoing. If he has a favorite sports team, for example, send him an email about how great they did at their last game. Or text message him asking how his mother is. At this point it’s essential that you stay away from any talk of getting back together. There’s ample time for that in the future so stay focused on being a good friend. The rest will follow in time.
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