You’re worried that your boyfriend wants to break up. He seems to be busier than usual and the time when you two are together, he’s preoccupied or quiet. You’re panicking because to you it clearly shows that his feelings have changed. Sadly, you’re probably right. Men don’t act distant if everything is fine within their relationship. Something has changed. The sooner you recognize it and take the necessary steps to shift things back, the sooner you can rest assured that your relationship will survive.
Once you realize that your boyfriend wants to break up, you have to make a decision. You can take the route that most women take which really drives the relationship into disaster. You’re going to be tempted to do this because it’s human nature to hold onto someone we love who is pulling away. Essentially what many women do is they get emotional. They start trying to ambush their boyfriend with signs they love and need him. This is when love letters and long phone calls enter the equation. Whatever you say to him at this point likely isn’t going to have the effect you’re hoping for. This is clearly a case where less is more.
Here’s the approach that you really do need to take if you want to ensure he doesn’t leave you and end the relationship. Tell him that you’re crazy about him or that you love him. Then explain that you know that something is wrong. Be clear about the fact that you’re not bringing it up so he’ll talk about it. That you just want him to know that you sense that he’s not happy and that you’re accepting of his need for space. Don’t cry when you’re doing this. You want to present yourself as a woman who is mature and emotionally capable of dealing with a relationship that isn’t perfect.
Give him some time after this. He needs time to think through what he’s feeling. You may not see it now, but that time is essential for you too. It takes two people to make a relationship work so you need to evaluate what the relationship has been giving you and what you could do to make it better for you and for your guy.
Once a few days have passed, call him up just to see how he is. Keep the conversation away from the problems you two are facing. Instead, talk about general things like the news or work. Your goal with this is to stay connected to him without all the baggage the two of you have been carrying around for weeks or months.
By staying in his life, without pressuring him to talk about the relationship, you’re essentially showing him that his needs come first. When he’s ready to talk about what’s bothering him, be there with an open heart and the patience to listen and learn. Your maturity and inner strength are what you need to draw on right now. Stay strong and he’ll see the treasure he has in you.
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