“I slept with him and he hasn’t called.” If you’re saying this you’re definitely second guessing whether having sex with him was the best idea. It sure seemed like it at the time, didn’t it? He wanted you and you wanted him. You felt such a strong connection to him that you imagined sleeping together would just strengthen it. Something obviously changed afterwards though as it’s been days now and there’s been no word from him. What’s the best course of action for you to take? Do you chock it up to bad mistake and move on or do you try and reach out to him again? If you really enjoy spending time with him and you feel the promise of a relationship is there, don’t give up just yet.
Think about the day when you two were intimate. Did he give you a time frame in which he promised to call? If he said “I’ll call” and it’s only been a day or two, the best advice is to wait it out a bit longer. Some men just need time to decompress after intimacy, especially if it was the first time for the couple. Don’t jump into panic mode just yet. Give it another few days before you really start to worry.
If it’s been more than a week, it’s definitely not a case of him just taking time to pick up the phone to connect with you. In a case like this it’s likely more about him pulling back deliberately after intimacy. Although that’s likely difficult to hear it’s important for you to acknowledge it. Once you realize that he’s having a bad reaction to how close you two are becoming, you can take the necessary steps to salvage the relationship and get it back into a more positive place.
Begin by calling him. Don’t be put off if he doesn’t answer. Chances are good that if you slept with him and have yet to hear from him more than a week later, that he won’t answer. He’s avoiding you.
Leave a very brief voicemail just telling him that you wanted to say hi and would like to meet for a coffee. Most men will be so curious about what you have to say that they’ll call back and agree to meet. You do have to be diligent about ensuring that your coffee date remains just that. You don’t want to end up in a compromising situation where you feel inclined to sleep with him again.
During that meeting do not talk about the intimacy and why it happened when it did. He may feel awkward about the timing, thinking that it was too soon in the relationship. Instead, just talk about random, everyday things. Let him see the other sides of your personality and who you are.
Invite him out for platonic dates every couple of weeks. If he’s still interested he’ll be there. Always make certain that you meet at your destination instead of having him drop by to pick you up. If you do this for a bit, he’ll start to feel closer to you emotionally and the physical part won’t overshadow everything anymore.
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