“I hurt my boyfriend’s feelings.” Most of us have unfortunately said this at some point. The moment when you first realize that what you did or said stung your boyfriend is the very moment you want to crawl in a hole and hide. It’s horrible to hurt the person you care about the most. Even though he may tell you that he’s over it, things aren’t the same. Perhaps he’s pulled back a bit or he’s less affectionate. If you leave this unattended, he may start to resent you for the pain you caused him and inevitably that’s the beginning of the end of your relationship. You have to act now if you want to smooth things over and get him to feel closer to you again.
Obviously, it goes without saying that an apology is critical if you’ve hurt the feelings of the man you love. How you handle the apology is very important. What most women are inclined to do is to continue to apologize after the first attempt. If he doesn’t seem to be accepting the apology, don’t badger him into doing so. If you’ve tried to make amends with him, that’s all you can do. Resorting to buying him things or sending him love letters won’t help. In fact, they’ll damage things more because he’ll feel as though you’re trying to buy back his love. Just tell him genuinely and sincerely that you’re sorry and leave it at that.
It’s inevitable that a man will pull back if he’s been hurt. All human beings do. It’s part of our emotional defense mechanism. How you handle his need for space will determine the future of your relationship.
You need to draw on your maturity after you’ve hurt your boyfriend’s feelings and give him time to process and absorb it. He may need a break from you. If you fight him on that, you’re literally suggesting to him that his needs matter little compared to yours. However, if you accept that you did hurt him and to get over that he needs some space, he’ll be touched that you respect him that much.
The key is to not let him slip away. Even if he has pulled back, be supportive and compassionate. Let him know that you’re always available to talk with him about anything. Once he’s put some time and distance between himself and the episode that hurt him, he’ll be open to forgiveness. Be patient and understanding and he’ll see the good in you again.
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