Did I ruin my chances with him? That’s a horrible question to be asking when you’re in a relationship or the beginnings of a relationship with a great guy. You’ve done something and now you regret it. Maybe it was telling him you loved him too soon, perhaps you got angry with him, or you told him too much information about your past. It doesn’t really matter what you did. What does matter is that since it happened, things have been remarkably different. You can feel him pulling back and you’re panicking.
If you’re asking the question, “did I ruin my chances with him,” it’s obvious that you’re well aware there’s a problem. That’s important. Many women don’t have that degree of insight. They do something and never fully realize the impact it has on their guy until he breaks things off. You’ve made the first important step towards remedying the situation by acknowledging that you did something wrong.
Don’t overlook the power in a sincere apology. Maybe you feel too embarrassed to apologize or you’re certain he won’t accept it? It doesn’t matter. You still have to make an attempt. Depending on the seriousness of your transgression, an apology can make a huge difference because it shows that you do indeed have remorse. Swallow your pride and ask to meet him. An apology like this should be done in person. Doing it on the phone or via email lessens its importance. You don’t want to do that.
It often takes time for someone to forgive and forget what has happened. You have to be willing to be patient for that. Once you’ve apologized allow your actions to speak for you. Show that when you did whatever it was that caused the conflict with him, that it was a momentary lapse of judgment. Show him that you’re better than that. You can only do that by changing your behavior long term.
You have to be prepared for some type of backlash from him regarding what happened. It may be in the form of him asking you direct questions including why you did it. Or it may be more about him just working through his feelings which means being emotionally distant for a time.
Inevitably, it’s up to him whether or not you two can move forward together. By apologizing and showing your maturity by changing, you’ll definitely improve the chances of the two of you forging ahead towards a closer, more understanding relationship.
If you’ve done something that has made him pull back, there is a guaranteed way of fixing it.
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