“My husband had an affair, now what?” That’s a loaded question, isn’t it? You’re the one left in the dust of his actions. You have to pick up the pieces of your shattered life and decide what to do next. How exactly do you do that when it feels as though the man you adore just ripped your heart from your chest and stomped all over it? No one said marriage would be an easy ride. Challenges face every married couple and unfortunately for some, adultery is part of the process. You didn’t ask to be treated in this manner but since it’s happened you have to deal with it. You can lie down and allow the situation to control you or you can take control of it and map out the future that you want.
Whenever a woman is saying, “my husband had an affair, now what,” she’s looking for guidance on the step she needs to take next. Who says that you have to make any rash decisions in the days, weeks or even months following discovery of the affair? Above and beyond anything else, you need time to process what has happened and the feelings that it’s left you with.
If you know already what your decision is regarding the future of the marriage, sit down with your husband and talk reasonably about it. If you feel that your only recourse is to end the relationship, listen when he tells you what he feels. Although you may not believe that he has a say in anything you decide, you have to consider the fact that the two of you are still partners.
If you feel that rebuilding the marriage is what you truly desire, share that with him too. You do need to make it clear to him though that you have needs that have to be addressed. They may range from seeking out marriage counseling to being able to talk to him openly about what happened. Be honest as honesty is crucial if you hope to save the relationship.
Regardless of where the future takes you and your husband don’t lose sight of yourself. It’s important if you’re a woman who has been cheated on to not shoulder the blame for the betrayal. Your husband made a conscious decision to be unfaithful and even if it stemmed from problems that you two were experiencing, it’s not all your fault. As women we tend to absorb too much of the blame when things go wrong. Do your best not to do that. Stay strong and confident in your appeal as a woman.
Click here to learn how to move forward after the affair.